08/14/98

Legends of Value

At the hospital where I completed my internship in clinical psychology, Dr. Abrams (fictitious name) was a virtual legend. Even though he was a psychologist and not a medical doctor, psychiatric residents, house physicians and the Medical Director himself consulted with him about their patients because of his knowledge and insightfulness as a diagnostician and therapist. So I was thrilled when I found out that Dr. Abrams had agreed to be my clinical supervisor for the year. We set up a schedule to meet for an hour once a week.

I prepared long into the night before each supervisory session, because I didn't want to waste a minute of the valuable time I had with him to review my most troublesome cases. His input was invaluable.

During our first few supervisory hours there were frequent phone interruptions, not surprising for someone in such great demand. As I was low on the hospital pecking order, I waited patiently while he took the calls, which were usually short. We then resumed our discussion. Gradually, however, it began to bother me that he didn't ask his secretary to hold calls while he was meeting with me, (unless the call was an emergency). I felt personally diminished by his behavior, and felt that he wasn't taking my patients, me or our supervisory relationship seriously. Each interruption not only reduced our time together but also led to missed nuances in understanding the therapeutic issues involved.

I decided to take a chance and discuss my misgivings with him. I told him how valuable his supervision was to me and to the treatment outcomes with my patients. I also shared my growing resentment that he was putting me in the position of setting standards for him as a supervisor, when I needed just the opposite. Throwing caution to the winds, I asked him whether he felt a commitment to me as a therapist in training (and to my patients), enough of a commitment to give me his undivided attention for a full hour.

He turned ten shades of red. He was not only embarrassed about his behavior, but he apologized to me and thanked me for my candor. From that day on he became a more active, respectful and involved supervisor, who, at the end of the year, offered to continue meeting with me each week during my second year in training at the hospital.

I've never forgotten that interaction, because I think it illustrates a critically important principle in human development having to do with the evolution of personal values. Do we set our own standards or do we let others set them for us? Naturally our principles are always evolving, honed by experience and shaped within the context of our relationships with others. But ultimately each of us has to decide what we stand for and then stand there, firmly, until compelling reasons lead us to alter our views. I have a remarkably humble legend to thank for teaching me that principle.

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.