08/30/99

Teens: Proud to be Different

How do teenagers define themselves in today's world? What are the influences that drive one teen back into the shadows of anonymity and another forward into the spotlight of recognition?

I received a letter recently from Julian Church, a teenager who thinks about such questions and plans, as she puts it, to "write the script for my own life." I print her letter here as an invitation to teen readers to respond with personal declarations of their own.

Julian wrote:

"Some of my friends describe themselves as "typical teens." As for me, I am NOT typical, and I am proud that I'm not.

"To begin with, my eclectic tastes in music: I love classical music -- Bach, Handel, Mozart, Vivaldi --and I have always loved playing around on our piano or the church organ. I also love swing, pre-1980 musicals, and oldies like the Beatles, the Association, and Simon and Garfunkel ("If I Fell," "Enter the Young" and "I Am a Rock.") On the other hand, I also like newer groups --Alanis Morrisette, Tori Amos, Sixpence and None the Richer ("Bells for Her," and "Kiss Me.")

"I enjoy movies and videos, basically anything that is not violent or scary. (I won't see "Psycho," "Scream," or "The Blair Witch Project," at least not now. My mom trusts that I won't want to watch anything that is really terrifying, and usually I don't! I am really a wimp, but I don't mind.) My favorite recent movies are "Notting Hill, " "Ten Things I Hate About You," and "Shakespeare in Love." I also love old movies, such as "The Ladykillers," "The African Queen," and "Bringing Up Baby."

"My choice of books varies greatly, too. I love classics like Shakespeare's plays and sonnets, Madeleine L'Engle's novels, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith, "A Town Like Alice" by Nevil Shute," and "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte, and newer ones like "Black and Blue" by Anna Quindlen, "Thursday's Children" by Rumer Godden, and "Walking Across Egypt" by Clyde Edgerton. My (current) favorite books of all time are the Mary Russell-Sherlock Holmes series by Laurie King (beginning with "The Beekeeper's Apprentice") and the Sally Lockhart Series by Philip Pullman. (The first in the series is "Ruby in the Smoke.") I am probably going to read some Barbara Kingsolver and maybe some Ellis Peters later this year.

"I love writing songs, poetry, and stories. I collect words and I never watch TV. (My choice.) I have friends who are schooled, homeschooled, over 40, under 3, female and male. I have been to Belgium, England, and Wales (twice without my family). I rollerblade and choreograph. I can't keep from singing. I don't care if an item of clothing is popular or not -- I wear it if it looks good to me and on me.

"I write the script for my own life. I'm not a typical teen, and I am happy with that.

-- J. Church, August 1999

I love the idea that every young person can write his or her own script, set the stage, recruit the players and direct the action, all within the boundaries of personal influence to produce the desired results. Even allowing for the unknown and unpredictable, that's a bold and empowering idea.

Author's Note: Julian's mother attributes some of her daughter's independent spirit to the influences of homeschooling. Families that make this educational choice are often independent-minded, as well. A second strong influence has been the book "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls" by Mary Pipher, a book which Julian has read several times.

Teens find inspiration and a path to positive self-expression through a variety of experiences and influences that I hope they will share here and with others.

LINKS:

Getting Real! (By students)

InternetHomeSchool.com

The Teenager's Guide to the Real World

CHEA (CT Home Educators Association)Infoline: 203-781-8569

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.