09/8/2000

Mommy & Me

Lois Labriola, a colleague of mine here in Connecticut, began doing volunteer work after she retired. She wrote to me about a wonderful program she and several other people started at her church, a program called Mommy & Me. Here's the story about how it got started.

"Looking for an interesting volunteer activity? Something that's fun as well as worthwhile? Do you like little kids? Enjoy meeting and talking with people in informal settings? If you said yes to the above, starting a Mommy & Me group may be just the ticket. But first, let's backtrack a little.

"Like many of us who had our children in the 50s and 60s, I was a stay-at-home mom. There was not a lot of choice involved in that decision: it was pretty much the thing to do. I'll never regret the opportunity to watch each one grow and develop. However, I do remember the feelings of isolation at times, the need to see and talk to other adults.

"Young mothers of today have more choices than we had. Many choose to work outside the home. Others put their careers on hold and choose to be at-home moms. For them, the isolation may be even more intense. Extended families are not as available; friends and neighbors may be at work during the day. Providing day care services for working mothers is an obvious need. But what about the needs of at-home moms?

"Four years ago, some people at our church realized that providing an outlet for mothers and their preschoolers would be a wonderful form of community outreach. We had the space and the equipment. Newly retired, I had the time; Mommy & Me was started. We meet on Wednesday mornings form 10:00 to 11:30, from the beginning of October to the end of May. Coffee is provided. The adults socialize, share experiences and provide support while their children play (or rest) in a safe environment. Over the years, we have had moms, a number of grandmoms and a few dads. Children have ranged from newborn to age four. Our first group consisted of babies, none of whom walked or talked. What a joy to watch as they acquired those skills! The interaction among the children - even the little ones - has been amazing.

"If this sounds like something you would be interested in, getting started is fairly simple. Most religious institutions have some kind of nursery provisions that are often not used during the week. Most would welcome a chance to provide such a community service and probably have some families in mind. We have never done any formal advertising. Word of mouth has worked well. Church membership is not a requirement.

"It's okay to start small. In fact, it's probably better that way. You have a chance to get to know the moms and the children. You are there as hostess/den mother/big sister/friend. You are not there as critic or preacher. There may be times you will have to bite your tongue, but unless a child is in danger, try not to interfere. Model positive behavior whenever you can. Many first time moms are insecure and may receive criticism from their parents, so try to be as supportive as possible.

"Oh, yes. If you think this would tie you down too much, that shouldn't be a problem. Once the group is up and running, the moms can manage without you if you're off on a trip. But chances are you'll be eager to get back!"

By Lois Labriola

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