06/07/2002

Dad: Keeping in Touch
by Beth Bruno

With Father's Day just around the corner it's time to think about all dads, but more specifically for me, about my Dad. I've never written a tribute to him, although I dedicated my first book, Wild Tulips, to him and to my mother. Contained in the book is a story about Dad's legendary genuis as a chemist and the humility with which he earned and accepted worldwide fame for his contributions within his profession.

I've written, too, about his courage. He is alive today through the grace of medical ingenuity, hooked up three times a week to a dialysis machine. He didn't want to be kept alive by a machine, but when faced with the alternative, he chose life, despite the inconveniences and discomfort he endures on dialysis days.

What I want to write about now is Dad being Dad—living out his total commitment to me, my siblings and his extended family: 13 grandchildren, four great grandchildren and all the in-laws and stepparents attached to them. Our family is scattered across the globe... literally. One brother is biking in France with his wife; another is touring China; my sister just began a two-year Mormon mission in Brazil; my sister-in-law, a physician, will soon begin a new job in Hawaii; and the grandchildren live in several different states (Michigan, Massachusetts, Utah, Hawaii, New York, Connecticut, Oklahoma, Ohio, Colorado and Pennsylvania).

Who keeps track of them all? Dad. Anyone in the family who wants the latest address, phone number or life plan calls him for specific details, all of which he has at his fingertips. For years he was the one who did all the traveling to visit us. My mother died young and Dad didn't remarry for 18 years. During those years he traveled the country, visiting each one of us and spearheading family reunions over Christmas and during the summer. He wanted to be sure he knew all of us well and that we knew each other. He recognized that our job and parenting commitments prevented us from traveling often and over long distances.

Now that he's more housebound, everyone in the family finds a way to visit him between grand gatherings. And each time there is a wedding or graduation or other big family event, he finds a way to get there— dialysis and all. Each person in attendance seeks him out to keep him up-to-date. A couple of weeks ago, one of his granddaughters married an Italian man. Almost everyone in the family managed to get to the wedding (in Michigan), so there was quite a line at Dad's table. Everyone wanted that few minutes with Dad, answering his questions, listening to ideas about his latest inventions, eager to tell him about their most recent escapades.

I pray that my family will find ways to stay close. Years ago we wrote letters almost every day; now we do the same with email. But there is no replacement for being in the same room, one-on-one, face-to-face. Dad has taught me that love abides and grows through contact, even if that contact is just a few minutes spent together at a table in a place far from home. That's not only what "keeping in touch" means; that's what "keeping in touch" does. It keeps love alive across the miles and across generations... and, through Dad, will touch future generations, as well.

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Links:

Father's Day tributes: http://www.chron.com/content/interactive/special/holidays/97/dad/

Kid's tributes to dads: http://www.kidsturncentral.com/holidays/fathers/fgreet.htm

Father's Day Observances: http://ca.dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Holidays_and_Observances/Father_s_Day/

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Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.