08/30/2002

Remembering September 11, 2001

I had just begun my workday when the phone rang. It was my daughter calling.

"Mom, have you heard about what's happening?"

"No, I …"

"Turn on your TV. A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center!"

I switched on the TV and watched in horror as the attack unfolded; the second plane hit; the towers collapsed; and thousands of people fled from the billowing smoke and debris.

The images replayed again and again, all day and into the night – too unbelievable to stop. It took a long time for the reality to set in that murderers had attacked our country and killed thousands of innocent people.

People cope with tragedy in different ways.

My first thoughts were for my husband and children whom I immediately called to assess their safety and feel the reassurance of hearing their voices. After cancelling our plans, my husband and I spent the evening with our daughter, listening to news reports and contacting friends and relatives. We learned much later that a graduate from our daughter's college class had perished in the Towers. Another acquaintance from Norwalk died that day – not someone we knew well.

In my role as a consulting school psychologist, I volunteered time in schools and libraries to talk with parents about how to field questions from their children. Youngsters as young as two or three were asking questions and seeking reassurance, because they saw the news broadcasts and sensed the emotions surrounding them.

One mom told me that her two-year-old brought all of his stuffed animals out of his bedroom, put them on the living room floor in front of the TV and covered them with a blanket while saying, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

Another parent reported that her four-year-old grew increasingly anxious because he thought airplanes were crashing into different buildings all day long. He didn't realize that the televised scenes depicted the same crash over and over, not dozens of separate crashes.

In the months since 9/11, we have all been healing in our own ways. I found some of the musical remembrances helpful and felt privileged that I could spread the word about donating to relief efforts via articles I wrote for print and online publications.

Feelings of helplessness and powerlessness are common in the face of such massive destruction and loss, as are feelings of rage and determination – not only determination to press on but also determination to punish the people responsible.

In the past year we have come together in many ways – in the recovery effort, in giving support to victims' families, in eulogizing each individual who died, in enlisting cooperation worldwide to disable and disband terrorist groups and in the planning of permanent memorials at Ground Zero, in Washington, DC and at the rural Pennsylvania crash site.

No one will ever forget the moment the news found them – news that conveyed the shocking truth that human beings can and do plot and scheme to kill other human beings – with no apparent regard for life at all – theirs or anyone else's.

For me, that truth is the hardest thing to recover from. To see interviews of the parents of the murderers express pride in what their sons did is something I can't fathom. Life is so fragile and so precious. How anyone can take pleasure from destroying the lives of others is as incomprehensible to me as the fervor with which suicide bombers snuff out their own lives.

I wish I could protect every child on earth from being taught such a hateful, destructive message. We owe all children not only our protection and nourishment, but also an upbringing that places human life among our highest values. That is their birthright.

LINKS:

• Memorial Events in Washington, DC
• Memorial Activities in Schools
• Voice your Opinions about Remembering 9-11

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Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.