12/19/97

A Poet's Determination

Sheila Schwartz is a Jewish mother, widow, ex-wife and real estate professional. Some years ago she developed a severe seizure disorder which required brain surgery to bring under control. She came through the surgery successfully and now faces the challenges of finding work again and getting off the "disablity" list. Her poetry eloquently expresses her pain, rage, humor and determination to prevail.

FOOLED YOU! I SURVIVED!

They shaved my head! Surgeons said, "Knife! Drill!"
Cut my scull with a small saw, using caution and skill.
Doctors called for probes and started to search the temporal lobes.
"I see it! Right Temporal Lobe! HIPPOCAMPUS! Scalpel!"
Cut open my scull! Started to search my brain!
Did you know the brain feels no pain?
My hair grew back, my eyes maintained sight!
Viewing is pure delight ... any sight!
Lo and behold, it matters not!
Weak, feeble, young, old, black , white, silver, gold.
To walk in snow, rain or shine decisions are now all mine!
I'm alive! Alive is fun! WHIPPEE ... I CAN SEE!
I look and browse down memory lane.
On and on I'll proudly strive,
When I get 'wheels' I'll drive and drive!
It's just the start. I can feel the beat of my heart.
On and on, heart and soul ... rock and roll!
Bach, Beethoven, Tuscanini ... Start again, ANEW BEGIN!
Time lost, so much invested in, the new Me, soon to be!
To waste it would a sin be! Success is my goal!
Watch out, make way, Sheila's back and here to stay!
'Tho I've not much ... I possess that 'Midas touch,'
Which showed in art, I was painting, selling ... Oh!
Selling! Such sales! The money I was earning!
POETRY IS MY NEW VENTURE, MY NEW FORTE
AND I'LL BE PUBLISHED SOMEDAY, SOMEHOW, SOME WAY!
Reared two sons, (I like to think well)
Only time and a little help from God will tell!
Started helping build decks,
Schlepping, digging, banging nails, HECK!
I'M A GIRL, BUT DIDN'T BREAK MY NECK!
Nail, screw, dig, fill ... Schlep, lug, pull, tug ...
Bring tools up that hill!
Lumber, decking, four by fours! Ouch! Shoulder is sore!
Didn't back down, wouldn't give in!
Turned my frowns upside down ...
To give up now would be a sin!
GOD'S IN MY CORNER! I'll survive!
Keep climbing the ladder of life!
Ignored all stress 'n' strife ...
As child, adult, and battered wife!
Cut, bumps, bruises, seizures! Gran Mals, too!
GOD SAID, "DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU!"
No more hospital dark dank rooms,
Smelly halls filled with gloom!
Nurses in white, there through the night!
Men in green, blue, good 'ol hospital whites!
Helped keep me going, to come through and say,
"I'M BACK! I SURVIVED! I'M READY! I'M ALIVE!"
Serve me all, some, any!
I fooled you, who would bury me,
After my brain surgery, 6/9/93!
To those who ask, "Why? Why didn't You die?"
I say, "GOD IS SMILING, GOD IS KIND!
FOR ME, GOD HAS SOMETHING BETTER IN MIND!"

--- Sheila Schwartz, National Library of Poetry

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