08/28/98

Got the Schoolhouse Blues?

Got the schoolhouse blues? You're not alone. The last days of August top the charts for family peaks and valleys, as leisure time gives way to the anticipation of structure, expectations, peer pressure and competition at school. Many students, parents and teachers get bogged down with self-doubts.

Students in special education ask themselves: "How do I explain the resource room to my friends? Does the fact that I have a learning disability mean I'm stupid? I sure feel like it sometimes. The extra help boosts my confidence, but then when I'm in regular classes, my confidence goes down. Other kids in my classes need help, too, but they don't have to go to the resource room to get it. Why me? It's so much easier to be on vacation. During the summer no one teases me. No one compares me to anyone else, and I fit in. But at school, I feel different. Why do I have to be singled out? Why can't the teachers just help me when I need it, without sending me out of the class?"

Parents fret: "I don't want to give my son medicine this year. He's been fine all summer without it. Maybe this year he'll be mature enough to handle all the assignments and commotion at school on his own. What if he starts to think that he can't succeed without medication. Will he think he needs alcohol or drugs to handle other challenges, too?"

"How I dread those complicated PPT (Planning and Placement Team) meetings with so many people sitting around a table talking about my child. Don't they know she's just like the rest of the kids? What do all those test scores mean? It's all so formal and legalistic. I feel like I'm in a courtroom instead of a school. Maybe I should just keep her home and teach her myself."

Teachers wonder: "How can I organize and present lessons so that every student succeeds? They're all so different, and their parents just don't have as much time available these days to help them. Maybe I should go back to graduate school in business or law where I'd make more money and not lay awake nights. No, I'd miss the kids too much. I'll try harder to collaborate with parents this year."

Principals brood: "Every year the kids get rowdier and angrier. I never know when one of them will explode. Last Spring's school shootings were terrifying! I'd like to expel every student who makes a threatening gesture or remark, but I know that's not the answer. I have to set the right tone on the very first day: a tone of order, fairness, academic excellence, thoughtfulness, mutual respect and pride in our school. Whew! That's a tall order."

Students vow: "I'm going to study like mad this year. I fooled around last year and failed two subjects. I sure was embarrassed and so were my parents. They're right when they say that I'll never get into college if I don't take my studies seriously. It's up to me."

Got the schoolhouse blues? Write to me, Beth Bruno, school psychologist, and tell me about it. Ask for advice, share perspectives, and read opinions from other parents and students. Last fall I corresponded with a disgruntled high school student about how he could advocate more successfully for himself with his teachers. By the end of the year his failing grades had disappeared and in the final marking period, he made the honor roll. He's starting this year with optimism and newfound confidence.

This is your voice on the Internet, where you can talk about school life and find solutions all year long. I've been fielding parent/student/teacher/administrator questions on this website since last September, and we've all learned a lot from each other ... including ways to chase the blues away!

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.