12/04/98

Student-Teacher Mismatches -- Readers React

In response to last week's article about student/teacher mismatches, many readers noted the dramatic differences in student performance and attitude toward school, depending on teaching style and their child's reaction to it. Even though we all have to adjust to different people every day, teacher/student mismatches sometimes can and should form the basis for a change in placement.

For example, one parent said, "I have a second grader who has been a different student for each of the three teachers he has had thus far. Last year his teacher was easy-going and kind. She was a great teacher, despite being a self-described "softy."

"This year's teacher is just the opposite. What our son was praised for last year, he's criticized for this year. The teacher sets very high standards and the students have to do a considerable amount of homework in addition to class work to meet those standards. My husband and I appreciate the high standards, but sometimes wonder if this approach takes too great a toll on the kids' nerves.

"I think some compromises are in order, so that students not only work hard, but are also given time for playful creativity and expressions of imagination without grades or specific expectations. "If we see students losing self-confidence in an environment that's too competitive, that should be a red flag that something isn't right. The best way to pick up on this is to listen to the children and respect their opinions. Parents need to be involved each year and educate the educators about the needs of their children, to help prevent such problems from developing. Parents know their children better than anyone else."

Another person wrote, "My granddaughter experienced only one mismatch, an unavoidable one because there was only one teacher per grade. The child was outwardly affectionate and the teacher discouraged hugging, so the child thought the teacher didn't like her. We told her that not every teacher was comfortable with such affection and it didn't mean the teacher didn't like her. The following year she had a very affectionate teacher with whom she stays in touch to this day.

"It was a life lesson. We may not always have teachers or bosses who like us, but we must find a way to work with them in harmony despite the mismatch."

A teacher wrote, "When you wrote about Alex, you seemed to make an assumption that his success in second grade was due to a difference in teaching style, when compared to the K-1 teacher. You may have failed to consider the growth he made in the kindergarten and first grade years that made it possible for him to do so well in the second grade.

"As a teacher, I cringe when I hear parents talk about matching a teacher's style to suit their child's. Aside from the fact that such matchmaking is really a code for picking a preferred teacher, when it is presented as an honest attempt to do what's best for the child, it starts us down a slippery slope. It's just not that simple.

"Kids and a teacher interact on so many levels and in so many ways that it is naive to thank that this relationship can be managed. It can't. Good teachers do their best to reach every child in their classroom, and they do it most of the time. Parents may fail to realize that reaching a student and being the best teacher for that student doesn't always manifest itself until after the child has left the class. Kids, teachers and classrooms are too complex for such simplified approaches."

Another parent wrote, "I believe that a child should not be in the same class environment with the same teacher for two years. To fully grow and adjust to different situations, a child should experience a different placement each year. If it's just a personality clash and nothing deeper, no harm has been done. It can help a child to realize that he will not get along with every person in his life and sometimes an adjustment by both people needs to be made."

"What I picked up," noted another person, "was the noise and confusion in the classroom. Classroom acoustics are not considered nearly enough in education problem solving. The problem could possibly have been prevented by a better acoustic design."

"I cried when my daughter came home from the third grade," said another mother, "and told me that she felt like the slowest kid in the whole class. The teacher was no help at all and labeled her as "lazy." Yet the next teacher told my how wonderful she was and praised her hard work and extra effort.

"My daughter has a learning disability. In the 8th grade she had a teacher who said he didn't believe in learning disabilities. I was flabbergasted! "I am in the process of starting a parent group to help children like mine succeed. Teachers should be building a child's self-esteem up, not tearing it down. But I think in this day of teacher unions and tenure, some teachers should be rethinking their career choices, but stay on, and there's little likelihood they will be removed.

"I have seem my child go downhill academically with some teachers and soar like an eagle with others who really connect with her. Every year is an unknown fear until after the first quarter, when we know if the year is going to be a successful one or another year of daily battles and frustration.

"I'm going to be much more involved with my younger two children and stand up for their needs more strongly."

Finally, this parent said, "The recent article on teacher/student mismatches reminded me of our daughter's struggle in the early grades (she is now in 6th grade). I believe that she has an atypical learning style; she works from big picture to smaller details, which most of the population does not. Her first grade testing was consistent with this pattern. She did not learn to read in first grade, and the recommendation was to hold her back.

"She would have had the same teacher and same approach, so I opted to push her ahead and arranged for an ambitious tutoring schedule all summer. Over the summer she gained 6 months of reading skills. "She is now an "A" reader and that strength shows up on standardized tests. She still works with the same tutor, now five years later, but much less frequently. I rely on the tutor to identify patterns that are emerging in any subject that she has problems with.

"Our daughter got this far without feeling like a failure, yet she has only had one teacher that she really clicked with. She is a B+ student and capable of consistent performance. Overall I feel lucky I had people to help me make a major intervention early on. My advice to anyone who's child seems to learn differently is to explore options such as one-to-one tutoring."

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.