A stay-at-home mom wrote me the following letter about the decision she and her husband made to live on one income, so that she could stay at home to raise their child.

Dear Beth:

"Four-and-a-half years ago I became a first time Mom. Although this was discussed prior to the birth of my son, my husband and I were uncertain in how we would handle work situations and raising our son. We opted to sacrifice, and I have devoted my time at home. Having a one-income family is challenging and frustrating at times. I am happy with our decision for me to remain at home and devote my time, attention and care giving to our son. I would have never been able to have a child caregiver in my home, or a nanny or day care service while I worked hours away from home -- ultimately feeling very unfulfilled.

"By doing this, I know what type of job I have done with my child. I know he was given one-on-one attention, far more than what he would have received in daycare or with a nanny. I am very aware, as my husband is also, of the years of sacrifice, and the years of not having that extra yearly income. We did without.

"We all have different views and opinions on what is right and what is wrong and what is best when having a child. Some Mothers prefer to stay at home and ultimately be the caregiver, which I believe is the right way to go. Then there is the career oriented women who want to juggle both, and the moms who have to work. No one can say which is the right path. We are all trying to do our best, but ultimately it is the child who suffers when we make poor choices.

"I think it's time for a mandatory overhaul of our daycare centers. Caregivers need constant education and training and higher salaries in order to feel validated in what they do on a daily basis. Even with low adult to child ratios of 5 or 6 to one, it is the child who suffers, when the workers are overworked, tired and not having a good day.

"I believe Day Care Centers, Nursery Schools, Nannies, any type of caregiver should get state funding for higher education, training, seminars, to constantly improve their teaching techniques, and to keep within their minds, that they are dealing with children. It is very easy to become overburdened with high ratios and long days in caring for children. The people working in these fields need to be appreciated at a higher level than what they are, and need to have a higher salary for what they do.

"As a full time mother, I have created an atmosphere far better than what a Day Care Center could have created for my child. Despite the opportunities for socialization and all the neat activities in group childcare settings, the children miss their parents. When I worked in a Day Care/Nursery School Setting, I was very saddened to see that these children, mostly called me "mom"in error.

"Perhaps it should just come from within our hearts of wanting to do the right thing for our children's welfare and future. I understand that there are parents out there that need the two-income salary (we could have surely used it), but with that, then it's time to demand, and not think of less than having state-of-the-art programs for the children who have to be in daycare settings full time.

"We aren't in the Depression era. Today we just want more of everything and better things. I think we should all just take a look around, step back and re-evaluate our priorities. Women of many years ago stayed at home and cared for their children. Modern men and women need to figure out ways to do the same. If, as a society, we can't figure out how to make that possible, we need to provide top quality daycare with top quality staff earning excellent salaries, so they will make care of young children their career."

***