10/03/97

How can both parents get involved in their child's education after a divorce?

Q:  My ex-wife and I have joint custody of our first grader who is having some attentional problems in school.  Whenever something goes wrong at school, the teacher calls our child's mother.  I want to help, too.  What is the best way to handle this?

A:  Historically, mothers have taken on most of the responsibility for educating children and interacting with teachers, especially during the elementary grades.  This is gradually changing.  More fathers have or share custody following divorces and more fathers are increasingly involved in and knowledgable about educating their infants and young children.  Try one or more of the following strategies:

• Arrange to meet with your child's teacher and include your ex-wife if your relationship allows.  Establish lines of communication, so you are not left out of the loop.
• Request a communication booklet or "log" which travels in your child's backpack and serves as a communication tool between home and school.
• Be sure the school has your business and home addresses and phone numbers.  Request that all relevant mail (announcements, report cards, etc.) be sent to both parents.
• Make yourself available to volunteer time or talents at school.  You can provide snacks, chaperone field trips, mentor a needy student, help build sets for the school play , or help address some other school or class need, schedule permitting.
• Attend school functions.
• Become knowledgeable about the curriculum.  One of the best ways to do this is to read over the textbooks and be available to help out with homework.  If you make your child's education a priority, your ex-wife and your child's teacher will know it.  But most important of all, your child will know it and appreciate it for a lifetime.

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.