03/06/98

What can I do to stop children from stealing?

Q: As a counselor, I have dealt with a number of children this year who steal. Here's a sampling: (1) an adolescent who stole and gave the items to other students; (2) a first grader who blatantly stole things as if he wanted to be caught; (3) a first grader who stole covertly and accumulated a bag of goods which her mother found and brought back to school. I realize that children steal for various reasons, such as attention-seeking, expressing anger or trying to be more popular with a certain group. Persistent stealing may be an indicator of serious emotional problems. I would be grateful for any insights, advice, strategies or interventions you or readers have to offer about this issue.

A: A major issue behind thievery is loss of trust, which can be pretty tough to reestablish with adolescents, because so many of their values have already been formed. In addition to the reasons you mentioned in your question, children steal for revenge, to express feelings of entitlement, to fill a sense of emptiness due to grief or loss, to try to balance life's unfairness, and for the thrill of getting away with it. If petty thievery escalates, it certainly can signal serious emotional problems, and can lead to criminal charges, prosecution and incarceration. So it should never be taken lightly, at any age.

Several teachers and counselors have shared anti-theft strategies with me over the years, such as:

• If a student borrows something from you, take collateral. For example, if a student borrows your favorite pen, keep his hat or one of her shoes, until he/she returns the pen. It works like a charm, and nothing gets "lost."

• Make the class "thief" the class security officer who keeps track of and reports high risk situations among other students. Teachers can thus intervene to prevent trouble before it erupts, and the student receives positive attention for responsible behavior, possibly averting further irresponsibility from him/her. (The potential problem with this approach is that the student security officer suffers social ostracism as the class tattle-tale or stoolie.)

• Review class rules with everyone and reward compliance.

• One teacher reported that she investigated the home background of a second grader who was stealing and discovered that the child was home alone after school. The child's parents worked long hours and had instructed her not to use the phone, answer the door or go outside to play. After discussions with the parents, they arranged for two afternoons a week of afterschool activities and supervision from grandma on other afternoons. The teacher spent a few minutes each day giving the child extra one-on-one attention on an activity of the child's choice. The stealing completely stopped.

• Discuss trust, interdependence and the basis of friendships with your students. Elicit suggestions from students about how to solve problems which arise among them. They want and need to be able to trust each other as much as you want and need to be able to trust them. Rather than establishing tighter security, therefore, go the opposite direction and establish a classroom honor system, which demands and expects personal integrity from students.

To learn more about treatment for cleptomania (pathological stealing), see the following website: Cleptomaniacs and Shoplifters Anonymous.

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.