03/22/99

Pay Attention and Listen Up!

Q: My child has had problems in school from the start. She's in third grade now and things are just getting worse. The school doctor thinks she's lazy; our family doctor said she has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and put her on Ritalin, which did not work. Tests show that she has a high IQ, but she doesn't keep up with the work in class. She is not eligible for special education because she has no measureable learning disability. I tried home schooling her for two months, and that was a nightmare. Please help me help her understand that if she doesn't do her school work, she will have to repeat third grade.

A: For starters, I suggest that you arrange a conference with the classroom teacher and work out a plan for daily communication about assignments. A communication "log" (booklet) that your daughter carries back and forth in her backpack each day often works out well. This way you can be more specific with your daughter about what's due when and help her use homework time more effectively. Bright children with attentional problems often need help with organization and planning, even when they are bright enough to complete the work accurately.

Provide recognition and praise for the assignments your daughter does well. Then help her approach the assignments yet to be completed, by taking each assignment one step at a time. When she has finished -- celebrate! Have fun learning at home by doing craft projects together, playing board games, cooking and other everyday activities. Children learn as much through play as from their schoolwork. Encourage her to study with a classmate on occasion, so she discovers the pleasure of shared reasoning about new learning tasks.

In future years, ask for teachers who are known for their consistency, structure and setting of clear expectations for students. If your daughter sometimes misunderstands teacher instructions, perhaps she could be allowed to work with a "buddy," i.e. a classmate who does understand the confusing lesson and can work through a couple of examples with your daughter, until she can proceed independently.

If these interventions don't improve the situation, request another comprehensive evaluation, especially if the gap widens between your daughter's academic performance and that of her peers. If she still isn't eligible for special education services, she may qualify for remedial tutoring in one or two weak subject areas. Perhaps a local high school student could tutor her for a reasonable fee. A capable teen can sometimes motivate a younger child more effectively than an adult tutor can.

Finally, be sure to give your daughter regular opportunities to express her talents through extracurricular activities, such as music, dance, sports or scouting, just to name a few possibilities. Enjoyment and success doing these activities will help build confidence that will spill over into school lessons, too.

Learn about how you, as a parent, can model better listening skills for your children by consulting this site on parents and listening.

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.