06/21/99

Ways to Reduce Harassment

Q: What suggestions do students have for reducing or eliminating vicious forms of harassment between students?

From a high school student, looking back on painful middle school and early high school events:

First, I think students who harass others have been taught in our competitive society that they need to put others down in order to maintain positions of power and control. The competitive atmosphere fostered by the schools should be toned down.

Second, I think it would benefit students who are being harassed to get together in discussion groups (without the harassers present) so they learn that they are not alone and to share coping strategies.

Third, I think it's important for schools to provide outlets for all kinds of students. That's why I think drama and chess clubs are as important as the marching band or the sports teams. Some may see these groups as "geeky," but they provide students an opportunity to be accepted and be part of a school club. When I found a church youth group that I felt accepted in, and when I was in a special education environment that didn't feel threatening like the mainstream classes did, I truly blossomed. For myself, I know that the anxiety I experienced because of harassment by other students was ten times worse than anything I have ever experienced. If only I had been introduced sooner to student groups with interests similar to mine!

Fourth, I think the students who are harassed should tell an adult in the school (teacher, guidance counselor or administrator) about the harassment, including naming names, but the information should be kept confidential, so that harassment against that student doesn't escalate. Fifth, teachers should never harass any student or join other students in acts of harassment. For instance, when students are late or miss the bus or forget something, teachers should never make sarcastic or put-down comments about it, because that invites harassers to do the same (as if the teacher condoned it.)

Another student wrote:

"I am 14 and will be a high school sophomore in September. From my personal experience on the bus, we have occasional fights, but they are usually verbal between the guys and the girls. On the way to school we're all quiet and mind our own business. On the way home we get loud and rowdy. We have our seating order; the cooler people sit in the back, where I usually sit. The OK people sit in the middle and the less cool people sit in the front. That is usual on most buses. The back is usually loud, with people telling it like it is and all. I only go to my parents when my life is being threatened. But even before I go to them, I go to my friends so they can help me straighten things out. The only time adults should interfere is when they see us being harmed or harassed mentally or physically, because we might be saying what's happening just for attention. Teens in high school go to their older friends first (before going to family), because we are usually closer to friends. Plus friends won't go to the school guidance counselors or principal right away. They'll usually stand up for you and talk to the person who is either starting trouble or spreading rumors about you."

Author's note: A few students suggested putting adult monitors on the buses, and a few others panned the idea because of the monetary costs. Perhaps adult volunteers would be willing?

Q: What do parents suggest?

• Adults must intervene to discipline harassers and teach harassed students techniques to deal with their emotions and how to build up their self-esteem. Such approaches work best in the long run when implemented in the elementary school years. The reason I think harassers should be punished is such kids have the idea that tormenting fellow students is acceptable. Some school policies contribute to this misconception. For example: "Any kid caught fighting will be suspended." But what if a tormentor pushes a kid to physical action; an adult finds the two in a fist fight; and both get suspended. That makes no sense. We all have a right to defend ourselves, but the school policy says that both students are equally wrong. Thereafter, the tormentor laughs about it and taunts the other kid even more, trying to get him into another fight and into trouble again. So we need to reexamine school policies for fairness.

• We need to get rid of the common attitude that "nothing can be done." Harassment can be stopped, if the adults in charge commit themselves to insisting on it. It's a topic that needs to be addressed in schools at every level, from preschool on - and at the legislative level as well.

• To reduce bus harassment, I suggest that every child have an assigned seat and wear a seatbelt. Why don't the seatbelt laws cover school buses? If students break the rules, the parent should be called immediately to come to the school and pick up their child. If that isn't feasible, the driver should report the child and schools should enforce strict penalties. It is a privilege to have a ride to school.

• I think riding the bus is a privilege, not a right. Also, bus drivers should be allowed to enforce safety and discipline rules. Disruptive children should be forced to ride a separate, later bus with additional supervision.

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.