 |
"I Hate School!"
Q: Our seven-year-old son tells us, his teachers and his friends
that he hates school. He finds everything either stupid or boring.
Ability is not the problem; his motivation and cooperation are. He
attends a public school with 22 other children and one teacher in his
class (not a bad ratio.) He says that he hates memorizing, doing "neat
work," and paying attention to stuff he already knows. Any suggestions?
A: When a child repeatedly claims to hate school and gives
plausible reasons for it, it's time to investigate. Try not to jump to
any premature conclusions about causes or culprits. As parents, you
need to remember that your child's attitudes toward school can change
from day to day, depending on a host of circumstances. Over time you
want to do whatever you can to help resolve problems that could lead to
sustained negativism or academic failure, because your child's schooling
is so important to his or her future.
For starters, listen carefully to your son and jot down a few of the
details he brings up. Then contact his teacher(s) to arrange for a
conference and, if possible, a period of observation in class. (Seeing
your child's class in action will be worth a morning off from work,
believe me). Your purpose isn't to lay blame; your purpose is to
identify genuine problems and come up with solutions to them (with the
help of the teacher and your child, of course). Once you've met with
the teacher and observed in class, you'll have lots of ideas about what
to do next. Here are some of the possibilities I've thought of (you'll
think of many others, too.)
- Talk with your child about your school days. Did you like school? If
you hated it, too, you may be conveying this attitude to your son
without even realizing it. Think hard about this because it will affect
the outcome of every intervention you propose or try to put into place.
Look for the positives and emphasize those. Your son's school, teachers
and curriculum are probably not perfect, but they're probably not all bad.
- Volunteer to work with a small group of kids in your son's class on a
special project of interest to you and your son. I know a parent who
offered to do simple science projects with kids after school and so many
signed up the principal had to recruit other parents to help. By the
following year more than 50 parents were teaching classes after school,
on subjects from photography to foreign languages to chess to
kite-making.you get the idea. Not only weren't the kids bored, but the
parents weren't either!
- Take weekend jaunts to places related to what your son is studying in school.
That will help pique his interest in those subjects.
- Read with your child every night before bed. Encourage him to share
favorite stories with school friends. Take him to your local library to
pick out books for himself.
- Let your son invite friends over after school to do homework together
before they play (snacks on you). It makes studying part of the fun.
- On a long shot, if your son and his teacher don't get along (this is
rarely the root of the problem, but it sometimes is), ask for a class
reassignment. If, after that, your son still complains about exactly
the same things, it's probably not a problem with the teacher.
- Find the following book at the library or online: "Help, My Teacher
Hates Me," by Schneider. I think this book will get lots of discussion
going about what's on your son's mind and may generate a few ideas about
how he and others can make things better at school.
Readers, let me know what ideas you have about how to turn a child's
negative school attitudes around, and I'll share them here.
LINKS:
Some Nobel prize winners who hated school
The Wonder of Little Boys (opinion)
Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.
Previous columns are available.
|
©1995-2004 SBC Knowledge Ventures. All rights reserved. Legal Privacy
