 |
Communicate with Children
In response to A Father's Awakening
No one wants to look back on their parenting years with regrets. Reader
responses reflect how intensely they value the all-too-fleeting,
precious years with their children.
- I can appreciate Mr. Searles' feeling, as I have all but lost my son
to that inability to communicate. I blame myself, not being able to
change or not trying hard enough to make a difference. Now there is no
communication between us. Even though I call periodically, he just
tolerates my calls. My advice is to pay attention from the minute they
are born, try everything you can and don't miss it! --- Communicate
from the Beginning
- We need to spread the good news on personal experiences of harmony
between parents and their children. These experiences can help others
who are caught up in the system with material things. Thank you for
your sensitivity toward human behavior.
--- Spread Good News
- Your article made me cry. I am going to show it to my husband.
Yesterday he was complaining about the football-shaped beanbag chair
that has taken up residence in our livingroom. I told him in ten years
it will be gone. He still complained. Dick's story will help me get
the point across.
--- P.S. We have a 10-year-old son
- There is a unique bond between fathers and sons. I lost my dad in
January, and although we had our rough times, I still feel an immense
loss.
The deeper bond, however, is not just between father and son, but
between parent and child. Our only child means more to me than
anything, real or imagined. I try to let her know every day that I love
her. My occupations as police officer and voluntary fire chief
frequently place me in harm's way. I want my small one to know her
Daddy loves her. --- Express Love Often
- The message is universal for all parents. Take the time to express
your love, encourage your child, enjoy your child. They are precious
gifts from God and we have them for too short a time. My daughter will
be heading for college in the fall. She came to kiss me goodnight last
night and began to cry and hug me. She said that although leaving for
college is months away, she already knows what she is going to miss.
--- Too Short a Time
- The father-son relationship can also take on the twist that John
Bradshaw, M.D. has written of in "Shame, the Binding Emotion," as well
as "Homecoming" ... both works point to the modern archetype of the
wounded child. I have been a victim of that experience, that of the
loss of dependency on a father, due to abandonment anxiety. Rollo May
speaks of abandonment through the myths of Oedipus and Orestes in "Man's
Search for Himself."
It's a generational chain-reaction that perpetuates itself until
outside intervention in the form of psychotherapy (reparenting) takes
place. One's willingness to grow, transform and transcend the muck of
clinging dependency which characterizes one's condition at birth,
ultimately rests upon one's capacity for courage. Courage, in this
sense, is the capacity to face the anxiety of moving out into the
unknown in the interests of growth.
--- Transcend Dependency
- My grandson and I have developed a strong bonding . He has tremendous
respect and love for me.
We went to the mall together one day to the Disney store in Meriden. His
eyes were as big as the mall itself when he noticed all the toys. In
particular, he picked a cap off the rack that had the emblem of the
Gargoyles on it. These were his favorite characters at that time. He
looked at me and said, "Poppy will you buy me this cap?"
I replied, "Poppy will give you the money to buy the hat, but first you
have to earn the money. I have to clean my office, so the next time you
visit you can help me clean to earn the money for the cap." He was a
little sad, but he got through it okay.
About 2 weeks later he came to visit and the first thing he said to me
was, "Poppy, can we clean your office now? You promised me that you
would take me to the to buy that cap, if I earned the money." He
reminded me that it was very important to keep my WORD. Needless to say
we cleaned my office and off we went to the mall.
To sum it all up, in order for children and adults to live together in
harmony, we have to start with mutual respect and the awareness that
CHILDREN ARE ROLE MODELS FOR ADULTS, too.
--- Develop Mutual Respect
Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.
Previous columns are available.
|
©1995-2004 SBC Knowledge Ventures. All rights reserved. Legal Privacy
