04/24/98

Overachievers Handle the Pressure to Compete for College Admissions

In response to High School Pressure Cooker (4/17/98) The majority of people who wrote to me this week were high school students themselves. Their eloquent comments taught me a great deal about how teens handle the pressure they are under to compete for college admissions. Here's what several CT high school students said:

• Your column confirms the realization I have only recently reached in the past few weeks. I am a high school senior in CT and valedictorian of my class. I have felt for four years the need to overachieve, join and be a leader in anything I could. I am student government president, captain of the math team, four-year editor of the school's art and literature magazine, community volunteer, baby-sitter, athlete and club member. For most of my junior year I worked so hard to maintain grades and balance activities that I lost contact with the majority of my friends. This year I have gained back many of my friendships and assessed how I was living my life for the past four years. I was working too hard for a teenager.

  I applied to colleges in the fall; gave my best shot at the Ivies and applied to top liberal arts schools such as Bowdoin and Middlebury. But during the months that preceded the acceptances and rejections, I grew more confident that all my efforts would pay off with an Ivy League education. I felt I deserved nothing less than that. I was rejected from all of the Ivies except for a place on Yale's waiting list.

  At first I was crushed and withdrew from everyone around me. I felt as though I had disappointed my parents, teachers, friends and even my school. But now I realize I should not have felt such strong rejection. I am proud of my efforts because I realize I was also doing them for my own satisfaction, even if the initial motivation had come from the idea of building a résumé.

  I plan to attend Bowdoin in the fall, an excellent liberal arts college with an atmosphere which is a perfect balance for hardworking students who also know how to be laid-back and enjoy life. And that is how I plan to live for the four years to come. It is okay to work hard and be a participant in activities, as long as one is enjoying what one is doing for oneself, not for someone else or some ideal created by society. --Keep Your Personal Goals in Mind

• I am sixteen years old and not once has anything I've read influenced me more than your article "High School Pressure Cooker." I advised my mother to read it and she agreed "that teenagers shouldn't be pushed so hard that they become candidates for burnout before even graduating from college." Before I go to college I want a job to save some money to travel around and meet new people. I also want to help others. Thank you for understanding what teenagers need and want. --Live a Little Before College

• I worked very hard all through high school, getting good grades, participating in everything I could. I was rejected from three Ivy League schools. It seems sort of silly now. The competition is so incredible that students have to be superhuman to be accepted. With so many qualified applicants, it often comes down to fame, prestige, power and money. It is a shame that students are being pushed so hard when they are still so young. -- Students Need Perspective

• Your heart is in the right place, but your head is somewhere else. I am a sophomore in high school. I pride myself on remaining as objective as I can. I am more or less a straight-A student with my sights set on the Ivy League. The reasons so much emphasis is place on community service and leadership are population growth and grade inflation. There are many more people so there are more kids getting A's, so A's are no longer enough to determine who is a high-quality student and who is not. To make matters worse, it has become easier to get an A in high school, not harder as one would think (since there are more students). The standard has been lowered. With more students and more A's on transcripts the universities naturally weigh extra-curricular activities more heavily on admission decisions than before. My advice is: stop whining. Just do what I and everybody else is doing. Accept it and move on. -- That's Just the Way It Is

• At this point I have no suggestions as to what can be done to help change the way high school students are encouraged to prepare for college. Even as one of the top 10 students in my class, secretary of the National Honor Society, president of choir and select vocal ensemble, director of several plays, Vice President of our school's chapter of the International Thespian Society, varsity indoor and outdoor track runner, mentor and volunteer with young children, I was not able to get into all of the schools I applied to. I did, however, get into Smith College which I will attend this fall. -- Some of it is Luck

• I am a senior in high school and have felt the pressure you discussed in your article since freshman year. The people who are in my classes have about the same capabilities as myself, and we all feel the pressure. The competition between us is immense, as we are separated from each other by .002, when it comes to class rank. There is a great deal of emphasis placed on us to become well-rounded people, but it is hard to find the time to do so. This year I have felt burned out because of the stress I put on myself to get good grades. I really felt your article hit home with me and many of my friends. -- Burn Out is a Problem

Author's Note: Look for parent comments about the "High School Pressure Cooker" in next week's Viewpoints.

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.