010/01/99

Readers Share ADD Experiences

... in response to the How ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) Feels (9/24/99)

Many people could empathize with Kevin's plight, because they have also lived with ADD throughout their lives. Their comments, summarized below, include coping strategies, information about CHADD (a national organization for people with ADD) and a list of book titles for children with ADD.

FATHER OF A CHILD WITH ADD: How does Kevin keep himself going? Obviously with all of the confusion going on in his head, he still hasn't done badly for himself, because he did get through high school and college.

Note from Beth Bruno: Kevin says that he kept himself going by learning compensatory strategies and through sheer perseverance. "Many people with ADD make it through school and college that way," Kevin told me.

"It's afterward, out in the real world of jobs and relationships, that the real roadblocks pile up. People who had ADD when I was in high school and college, didn't know it. All we knew was that we had trouble concentrating, remembering or sitting still. School is structured enough to provide a workable daily routine for people with ADD."

SELF-DIAGNOSED ADULT: I am 43 and diagnosed myself a few years ago. It gave me great relief knowing this is a real condition, suffered by other people. Your mind exhausts you on a daily basis. We are our own worst enemies and feel quite incompetent at times, not measuring up to the razor sharp minds of, say, a wheeler dealer on Wall Street.

Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters are, to me, two examples of classic ADD minds that have put it to great occupational use. If you are constantly burning brain cells with all those extra personalities inside, you might as well cash in on it if you can. It is a struggle every day.

It's important for the educational world to see that ADD sufferers are quite bright and artistic people who need to have their natural talents cultivated instead of squashed. Are there support groups for adults with ADD?

Note from Beth Bruno: I found the following listings for Connecticut chapters of CHADD (a national organization for adults and children with ADD). Call the chapter closest to you for information about support programs.

• Fairfield County 203-259-8044
• Greater Waterbury 203-755-2999
• Greater Danbury 203-790-8654
• Connecticut State Council (in Voluntown) 860-376-0553
• Mansfield/Storrs 860-429-2582
• Southeastern CT 860-442-5758
• Farmington Valley 860-651-3880

HAVING ADD WITHOUT HYPERACTIVITY: Kevin sounds hyperactive. Those of us who suffer from non-hyperactive ADD have very different kinds of problems. Like staring at a homework sheet for 2 hours without progress, because your mind is being jerked around from thought to thought like a fish on a hook.

Since the problem is much less obvious to others than with the hyperactive person, I think there is more stigma and condemnation from others for being "lazy" and "useless." Family, friends and associates don't cut you extra slack because they don't understand the problem. Many people live their entire lives not understanding that there is something organically wrong, rather than it being a character flaw. It is an invisible handicap.

HOW I'VE COPED: I am a 50-year-old teacher in Hartford (with ADD) and have been quite functional, despite the way my brain is wired. I have never been diagnosed, but having been around ADD in young people and having read much about it, I know I am one of the "chosen." I think I was blessed with a good deal of intelligence and have just naturally compensated without knowing it. I think part of my survival tactic was developing a quirky personality. Maybe the trick is to hang on and not let go. I have one undergraduate and two post graduate degrees, so, I know that one can cope and succeed.

MOTHER WITH AN ADD SON: There is a good chance that my 10 year-old son has ADD. We have been dealing with his challenging behaviors for some time now. Do you know of any storybooks that my son can read so he can better understand himself?

Note from Beth Bruno: Here is a brief list of books for and about children with ADD. You can find more by researching subject listings on the Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble websites or by visiting your local school or public libraries.

• Help is on the Way: A child's book about ADD, by Marc A. Nemiroff
• Learning to Slow Down and Pay Attention: A Book for Kids about ADHD, by Kathleen G. Nadeau
• Otto Learns about his Medicine (for ADD or ADHD), by Matthew Galvin
• Zipper: The Kid with ADHD, by Caroline Janover
• Putting on the Brakes: Young People's Guide to Understanding ADHD, by Patricia O. Quinn

Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.