07/26/2002

Reader Nostalgia

Ursula's McCafferty's reminiscences about growing up in New York City prompted many readers to look back to their childhood days, described as the best of times or the worst of times depending on point of view and experiences. I wonder what our kids will say 50 years from now when they look back on the turn of the century.

Dear Beth,

Ms. McCafferty's remembrances of the good old days in Brooklyn are similar to mine, although I am younger than she is. She mentions "enlightened age" in a somewhat pejorative way. It is well worth mentioning that "the good old days" had their downside also. For instance, we were still in the throes of the great depression. FDR said in his second inaugural speech, ". . . one-third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished."
Diseases such as polio, tuberculosis, small pox and scarlet fever were still rampant. Wonder drugs were not yet available. Plus, WWII was looming on the horizon. No refrigerators, no air conditioning and automobiles were way out of reach for 95% of the population.

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I loved Ursula McCafferty's story. Being a country boy in his late teens and early twenties, and living in the Big Apple during the great depression. I first boarded with a couple of widows, who had three teen aged boys.
In my free time, the boys and I roamed the streets of Manhattan, from the Battery to the Bronx, with never a care. After the sisters moved out to Long Island, I lived in five other locations. East side, west side, all around the town. I had a car, and never worried when it was parked in the street, where it was always parked.
I once purchased a small radio at Bloomingdales. It was delivered to my abode on East 33rd St., and an antenna was installed from the roof, down to my ground floor room at no extra cost. Can you believe it?
Going to Coney Island one evening with a group and having a picnic on the beach. One of those copper boilers, loaded with spaghetti and meatballs, and baskets with all sort of goodies. Those were the days.
Broadway, when it was clean. Summer concerts in Central Park and the Zoo. Joggers around the Reservoir. Ice skating on the lake in winter, and kids sailing toy boats on the lake, in summer. The stifling heat and humidity in mid-August. Nostalgia. Whatever happened? Progress??
In '36, I came back home to marry a skinny kid who I first met at age eleven. We stayed married for fifty-nine years, until she passed away in '95. There were four children, nine grand children and three great grand children, (with a fourth expected in the spring).

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You could say the same things that Ursula said about the late 40s and early 50s when I grew up, but the songs were different. There was "Heart of My Heart" (actually a reprise from an earlier era) and many others, like "Till Then." But parents didn't "protect" their brats from authority. If a teacher told a parent that little Johnny misbehaved, the parent would "talk" to the offending child. Since the 60s, the brat can - and will - take a punch (or worse) at the teacher, a neighbor, a law enforcement officer and/or any other authority figure and the parent will behave like a mother bear whose cub is endangered by a pack of wolves. Often, the parent will run to the nearest shyster and sue the person who defended him/her self from the vicious child.
It's fascinating to see that the parents, both of whom are working and not home during the work day, wonder why their precious child is behaving like some animal which was never "housebroken." The connection between parent and child has been severed and, like Topsy, the child "just growed."

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Just one point about we old geezers. We have a disease of the mind that I call "selective amnesia". We conveniently forget all the things that were very bad years ago while glorifying the past by reviving history. We are a strange lot. But enough of my babbling. I will now enter my living room and tell my wife some of my Korean War stories. Whoops, there she goes backing down the driveway. I wonder why? :-)

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I loved this feature. I would like to point out that it is still possible to enjoy much of what Ursula McCafferty remembers. You just have to be determined to do it! I have six children, 18 to 8. Five daughters and a son. I have been married to my one and only for 21 years.
Early on we determined that I would be a stay–at-home mom no matter what the cost. So, when our friends were going into debt for new cars, new homes and new furniture, we were driving a clunker, living in an apartment and using my grandparents' hand me down furniture. We bought our furniture as we could afford it. Our first new car was a modest Escort, but since then we learned that buying a low mileage demo-car is a much betterdeal. My husband built our home himself, which is a beautiful farmhouse in the country. He did it as we could afford it. It was worth the wait.
As for our children, I didn't want the sex education being pushed on OUR children at ages that I felt were far too young. We looked into private school and found it was much too expensive for us, so we decided to home-school, long before it was a popular option. Our oldest just graduated, did fantastically on her SAT and is heading off to college in August with 3 scholarships! I can tell you matter-of-factly that she is a virgin, has never experimented with drugs or alcohol and does not use foul language. I will hate to see her go, but am very excited for her. I know that I can trust her to continue to be the young lady that we raised her to be, and I have no fears that when she breaks away from us she will go "crazy".
I have no regrets that for the past 18 1/2 years I have spent as much time with her as a mother possibly can. We've read together, watched video's together, gone sleigh riding, made snowmen, swam, been to the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, the Redwoods, Yellowstone, Florida, caves in KY, Niagara Falls, and much more.
My hope for young couples starting out, is that they don't fall into "Keeping up with the Joneses." That they determine in their hearts what really is important, from day one, live on one income, so that when children do come along you can be home with them. Children having a parent 24/7 makes a huge difference. Don't go into debt for things. It is so much more important to have time with children doing the simple things Ursula was talking about, than to have things. If they plan it out well, they will find that in probably 10 years, they will financially pass their friends by, by staying out of debt, and have a much richer life for it.
Sorry to have rambled on, but I just wanted to comment that it is still possible for children to enjoy the simple things!

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